GDL Status Report

Initial Report from the office of the provisional Secretary of Defense, Ginger Defense League:

Today's New York Time's story on the arrest of a handful of ginger baiting and beating bullies in Southern California provides a new level of visibility for the oppressed redhead - a great opportunity for fundraising and political action. It also creates great peril for the secret defense branch of the GDL. A brief update on current actions follows:

- Liason with local law enforcement in Southern California leads to arrests, excellent results achieved through secret, targeted communications with gingers holding senior LLE positions;

- Vigorous follow-up with NY Times required - See California: Boys Detained After Prank -would this be a "prank" if gays or African-Americans had been assaulted? This will require more than a letter to the editor, volunteers to assemble in alley behind shebeen 1AM tonight;

- Facebook Group "National Kick a Ginger Day, are you going to do it" finally taken down - how many Gingers had to die for this nightmare to end. Facebook executives totally unresponsive, usual "not responsible for content" bs - Ginger Bill Gates has expressed some interest in buying Facebook and dismissing current management team;

- Armament purchase negotiations are moving forward with consulting assistance from the Continuity IRA;

- In a joint initiative with the GDL Treasury, progress continues on obtaining a slice of Scottish North Sea oil revenues - Scotland's position as host to the highest per capita ginger population makes the GDL alliance a politically popular security measure in Scotland, but these funds will evaporate instantly if any hint of the GDL's undercover operations comes to light;

- Rupert Grint continues consideration of role as GDL spokesperson. Tight security for these meetings has, to date, averted all media coverage.

WFBI?

Blogger, Accused of Threatening U.S. Judges, Was Reportedly Paid by the F.B.I. - Internet radio host and blogger Hal Turner is about to stand trial for making death threats on Federal judges. His defense? The FBI made me do it.

"Turner's FBI connections began in 2003 with the Newark-based Joint Terrorism Task Force and continued on and off until this year, according to the newspaper [the Bergen Record]. He claims his postings and other inflammatory statements were part of an undercover operation to ferret out violent left-wing radicals."

Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh could not be reached for comment. A publicist who has worked with Mr. Beck on several past projects noted, "Glenn never told me anything about the FBI, but he was always saying the most provocative things, stuff that just didn't seem to make any sense. And then there was all the crying, like there was some great weight on his chest he just couldn't get out from under. Of course, if Glenn was using his show to set up right wing radicals, he would never be stupid enough to admit it. It would be like painting a target on his back."

An FBI spokesperson declined to comment on the New Jersey trial or any specific undercover action. She did confirm that the Bureau was always exploring for new paths to identify potential criminals before they acted and she could not rule out the possiblity of interagency cooperation between the Bureau and the National Endowment for the Arts.

The Ruby Sunrise

The Ruby Sunrise, produced by The Theater Project, features the intriguing story of a farm girl (Ruby) who nearly invents television, but instead produces and inspires a daughter (Lulu). Twenty-five years later Lulu writes her mother's story and fights the system to get the truth, not to confused with the facts, on the air. The story breezes through a lot of history: some early stirrings of women's liberation; the invention of television and it's anticipated impact on mankind - until TV's potential is fully realized as the perfect medium for the sale of soap; the blacklist; the Automat; and, with assistance from a projected backdrop, the real original Ray's Pizza. OK, the Automat and Ray's Pizza weren't all that central to the plot, but I was hungry. Through it all, Mother Ruby, daughter Lulu and some occasionally weak willed accomplices fight with persistent vision to overcome mankind's flaws, in a theme the script drives home a little too persistently at times. Fortunately, the believable characters, entertaining story and some advice on doing what you can realistically do from a drunken old character actress overcome any hint of preachiness.

The real joy here is the uniformly high quality of cast, direction and production. There are no weak links. Jenelle Sosa, as Ruby (Theater Project regulars will remember her extraordinary performance in Fully Committed), Jen Plants, as Lulu, and Rick Delaney, as Tad (veteran television writer who becomes the vehicle for Lulu's story, her lover and finally her coauthor) deserve special mention for outstanding performances in demanding roles - what the heck, so do Norleen Farley, who captured both the bitter old aunt and the alcoholic character actress to a T and Jaclyn Ingoglia who nailed the difficult task of playing a bad actress just badly enough so it was funny real, not funny farce.

Just two shows left, Saturday, Oct. 17 and Sunday, Oct. 18, 2009. See it at Union County College, Cranford, NJ. Brown Paper Tickets or 800 838 3006

Love Simple

Love Simple is an indie that's a romantic comedy with an ending, a real ending that resolves the story,not just a point in time when the film stops, a happy ending no less - is this possible? Before checking "indie" in your OED, take note. The other indie symptoms are all there: creative core of college pals; handheld camera; entire feature length film shot in 14 days with catering by Mom (bologna sandwich and lemonade anyone?). The result is well worth watching.

The primary romance features Adam and Seta. It might be love at first sight, but if truth is beauty, this is one ugly couple, as both lovers are lying through their teeth. Adam's a thirty-two year old undergrad living with his Dad. Seta is sick. Neither feels like facing the prospect of another quick dump. This could get treacly, especially given Seta's illness, but it's well paced and well played, particularly by Patrizia Hernandez, and the result is far more engaging than the average studio romance.

There's more love in the air here. Adam's pal Jesse has a one night stand with Seta's roomate Keith (Keith is the Brooklyn counterpart of a boy named Sue, played very capably as a comic straight man, er whatever, by Caitlin Fitzgerald.). Cynics Jesse and Keith then counsel Adam and Seta on the perils of romance while falling for each other. No spoiler alert lapse here, you will see this one coming from a mile away. Finally, Adam's life is on hold because he's caring for his sick father, a case of "simple" love that provides some interesting contrast.

The comedy is a little choppier than the romance, with more risk and greater potential. Writer/first time Director Mark Von Sternberg handles some gender reversal bits very deftly in the latter stages of the film, but the bro banter generally felt flat instead of funny. Several comic scenes were set up as potential diamonds, then mined for cubic zirconium. The visuals were consistently rewarding, but the funniest moments would have been better with a crisper set up and an occasional zinger. Only Israel Horowitz as James (Adam's father), seemed really at home delivering a humorous line. The comedy's not perfect, but promising. Several scenes were truly funny, even the cubic zirconium was pretty good and we will be forever grateful that Mr. Sternberg eschewed the Lucille Ball approach to the unmasking of Adam and Seta, settling for quick pain rather than a slow, and painfully unfunny, sequence of ever expanding embarrassment.

Love Simple is worth renting or seeing with a date. The trick is to find it. The linked site will have news on distribution.

Whip It

Producer/Director Drew Barrymore's comic take on roller derby, Whip It is not so much funny as fun. There's a very deep, talented cast featuring stars known for drama (Julitte Lewis) playing over the top for laughs while comedic veterans (Daniel Stern, Kristen Wiig) play it very straight. Ellen Page as Bliss (Roller Derby name - Babe Ruthless) drops most of the Juno-esque wise cracks and manages reasonably well as the lead. Page and Marcia Gay Harden carry the heaviest loads in advancing a predictable coming of age plot - Bliss grows restless living her mother's dream in a tiny Texas backwater, until uninhibited freedom in the form of roller derby and romance beckon on a visit to Austin. Jimmy Fallon, basking in a custom fitted part as the outrageous roller derby announcer "Hot Tub Johnny Rocket", maintains the comedy momentum in a film that would be flat without him. Fallon, and those great roller derby names - think Eva Destruction, Jaba the Slut (I am still working on my own Roller Derby name, visit the Whip It link and come up with yours) give this film it's zing. Maybe the outtakes during the closing credits fooled me, but this seems like a movie that the cast loved making and it shows on the screen. Go ahead and see it or rent it. You won't remember much, except that you had a good time.

Also screened last night for later review - Lbs - a cinematic precursor to The Biggest Loser from the same team that brought us Amexicano. Watch this space for a full review later this week.

The Boys Are Back and Bright Star

Bright Star - Fanny and Keats meet - not all that cute. Keats is too poor to marry. Romance blossoms nonetheless. Keats dies. Slowly. Very Slowly. You will begin rooting for Keats to die after fifteen minutes and this movie is six hours long (well it seemed like six.) By the half hour mark you will be ready to pull the switch on Keats yourself.

The Boys Are Back - Clive Owens leads an engaging cast in an outback indie. The Boys Are Back shows two boys dealing with death and abandonment as father Clive struggles to run a loose ship without sinking. A good beginning and surprising middle make it worth renting despite the classic indie non-ending.

Sorrow on the Third Hole

Part 3 - Part 1 posted on August 12, 2009

After a night of tossing and turning in angry frustration Hugo Chavez, The Mighty Wind, had a plan. If these grass cutters, these brainwashed slaves to the capitalist running dogs, wanted a fight they would get one. Summoning the heads of the army and air force into his office, he pointed to a detailed topographical map of the Caracas Country Club:

"Here, near the green on the second hole and along the beginning of the third fairway, are the areas fortified by these roaches, these groundskeepers, who would stop the revolution so they can lick the hand of the Yankee loving imperialist duffers. Your mission is to eliminate these areas and everyone on them, while preserving the second tee, the third green and the upper half of the third fairway. In one stroke I will break the back of the counterrevolution and combine the second and third holes,
reducing the Caracas Country Club to a seventeen hole course. Then when I retire, well of course I will never actually retire, the Venezuelan people will always need me as dictator for life, but when I start to look for other interests, I will be able to shoot lower scores."

In the Greens keepers stronghold behind the second green, Renaldo looked as grim as the smog ridden Caracas dawn. The elation of yesterday's victory was fading fast as the reality of the odds - a fleet of lawnmowers facing a real army led by an utterly ruthless egomaniac who would snuff them out like a candle just to avoid embarrassment - set in. To make matters worse, Bertina, the heroic beer cart girl hurt in the surprise attack on the first hole, needed a doctor badly. Renaldo passed among his men, arranging for one group to carry Bertina out on a stretcher improvised from an old blanket and two Big Bertha drivers and releasing the men in small groups with instructions to slip quietly through the woods towards the fourth hole, then disperse and head for home.

Renaldo gave his final instructions and left with the group carrying Bertina. The last three greens keepers were still waiting patiently when the sky began to buzz. Six eyes looked skyward, seeing nothing but a gray haze against a backdrop of gray clouds. The buzzing grew louder, then the first plane appeared just as the woods erupted - light and sound crashed in every direction as trees flew apart and turned into projectiles. The planes kept coming, wave after wave, turning back for another run and another, and the woods and the second green and part of the third fairway and the three greens keepers disappeared.

Renaldo looked back in horror, but what had he expected? The Mighty Wind was nothing if not a predictable bully. Even the greens keepers who had made a successful retreat would never be safe, the records of the Club would give Chavez their names, addresses, families. Renaldo realized there would be no simple end. With a sigh he fished his cell phone from his back pocket, and fumbled to pull a scrap of paper from the innermost compartment of his bulky wallet. In the dim light he looked back and forth between scrap and cell phone, dialling carefully. After several seconds he spoke quietly into the phone:

"Mr. Woods, sorry to call so early, hope I didn't wake you.
...................................

Glad to hear the first nine went so well. Tiger, I hate to
bother you, but I really, really need help here."