Fuji Watch - Day 4

Peru: Conjugal Visits for Fujimori - Fuji will be allowed a guitar and twice monthly conjugal visits as he awaits trial in his two room, 1,075 square foot cell.

As Good As News is outraged. No, it's not the cushy treatment Fuji's getting. He hasn't been convicted of anything yet. Peru relies heavily on house arrest for accused criminals awaiting trial, so Fuji's treatment, while exceptional by prison standards, is nothing compared to the life he would be living at home with the millions he looted.

The pre-trial phase may last until Fuji's death. When faced with a difficult situation in which any action could produce bad results the typical approach in all branches of the Peruvian government, especially the judiciary, is to do nothing - even when doing nothing produces the worst possible outcome for the country. The system is actually designed to encourage bureaucratic paralysis. Government officials, including judges and prosecutors, are subject to possible criminal charges for missteps, while no deadline is ever enforced and there seems to be no systematic cost or penalty for inaction.

As Good As News is no friend of Fuji, but we don't begrudge him a visit, a guitar and a two room cell when he might be serving a life sentence without trial. The fact that the government is preparing a "more permanent facility" should make Fuji afraid, very afraid. The outrage is directed at, who else, the NY Times. The Times could not find Peru on a map when Fuji and Montesinos were looting the country, now it runs a CONJUGAL VISIT caption for a World Briefing item. Sex may sell, but this guy is 69. If you're going that route, NY Times, run a style section feature on Paris Hilton.

Fuji Watch - Day 3

As Ex President Faces Trial, a Reckoning for Peru - For the second day in a row, NY Times runs a major background story despite the absence of any significant development. Where were you guys when Fuji and Vlad were actually doing all the stuff for which Fuji will now stand trial? In any event, a little more background on the background. Vladimiro Montesinos was the chief of SIN, the aptly acronymed Peruvian military intelligence agency, under Fuji. Vlad somehow parlayed an undistinguished military career into a role as the man who really ran the country, probably because he had enough photos and tapes to blackmail every official in the government. Vlad's life story is beyond belief, this is the guy J. Edgar Hoover wanted to become and yet somehow simultaneously his dream date. Vlad even taped himself accepting bribes. His theory was that this would give him more dirt to use on the party giving the bribe. This proved to be a big OOPs when Fuji fled and the tapes were discovered.

Vlad was eventually grabbed, despite plastic surgery that allowed him to elude capture for months. He now resides in a luxurious prison cell in Lima. Rumor has it that he still wields considerable influence from prison - a rumor I believe to be true based on observation of events that are hard to explain with any other theory.

Pictured - a monument to the innocent victims of Fuji's war on terror, vandalized with orange paint, the color of Fuji's party.

Fuji Watch - Day 2

Chile Returns Fujimori to Face Rights Charges - From this day forward, Peru's former President Alberto K. Fujimori will be known to As Good As News as Fuji. This is a man who, on occasion, erupts like Mount Fuji, a symbol of his native Japan (whereby hangs a tale told below) and pretends that he fled Peru as a refugee (thank you Wyclef Jean, Lauryn Hill and Children of Man). Not to mention the fact that we will be typing his name a lot and need to cut down on those keystrokes.

The linked Time's story has no news, just background. As Good As News will offer some background on the background.

Gustavo Gorriti is the Time's go to guy for the mandatory quote from a "respected local journalist." Gorriti cut his teeth covering the guerrilla group Shining Path for the Peruvian magazine Caretas. Fuji made his reputation by shutting down Shining Path and a second group, Tupac Amaru, in a popular and successful "any means necessary" campaign that cemented Fuji's unholy alliance with Vladimir Montesinos, the minister of SIN -the Peruvian intelligence agency. Tupac Amaru held the Japanese Embassy hostage just down the street from my hotel during my first visit to Lima. Gorriti spent time in Montesino's jail - held for questioning on Shining Path.

Montesinos reportedly blackmailed Fuji with a page from the birth records of Miraflores (a district of Lima), a page that showed Fuji was not born in Peru. So what? Peru's constitution requires that the President be native born. Montesinos, the intelligence chief, may have been controlling Fuji, his own President, with his knowledge of the altered birth records. Caretas eventually ran a story on the disputed birth record, noting an apparent alteration.

Caretas is a story unto itself. This magazine has survived printing independent, investigative journalism in a country that was a near police state at one point in the Fuji-Montesinos era. Maybe it's the pictures of the topless ladies that keep Caretas out of trouble. Maybe it's good karma from the Caretas story involving your favorite blogger - (scroll to Engelhard after you click). Maybe publisher Enrique Zileri just knows when discretion is the better part of valor. Somehow Caretas just rolls along.

What Does IHTFP Mean Again?

Pictured - A shot from rediscovered Spanish Civil War photographer Gerda Taro - note the stylish but practical heels on our Republican soldier in training.

Pictured - The Tesla Roadster - An electric car, it costs $100,000 but the batteries are included.

Chileans Order Peru's Ex-Chief Home For Trial - Alberto Fujimori, President of Peru for four terms (this guy did not let a little thing like a constitutional term limit stop him) is returning. He let his henchman Montesinos loot the Peruvian treasury and use SIN (the apppropriately acronymed national intelligence service) to terrorize the country. Fujimori presided over a bureaucracy that was paralyzed with corruption and fear, fled with a planeload of cash and thought he would somehow return in triumph when his successors stumbled. Instead he was detoured into a Chilean jail, but now he gets his wish - a return to Peru. As Good As News is looking forward to an interesting trial - although we know from sad experience that the outcome will be determined by politics, not the law and the facts. We will definitely keep you posted on this and there will be opportunity aplenty for humor.

Case Against Polygamist Goes to the Jury in Utah - One mystery solved. Prosecutors are not using statutory rape charges because a 14 year old may have consensual sex in Utah. Good to know. As Good As News still fears that failure to charge the victim's husband/cousin/rapist with anything means that Warren Jeff's will be acquitted on the charge of accomplice to rape. The jury is out.

At State Dept., Blog Team Joins Muslim Debate - Welcome, Digital Outreach Team. Post a comment on Top Ten Reasons to Visit Iran Now (June 24) or The Fatwa at Home and Abroad (June 12). You will not be flamed by our genteel readers, you have an As Good As News guaranty.

Her Taste in Art? Scary, Police Say - MIT sophomore Star A. Simpson was arrested at Logan Airport yesterday after she inquired about an arriving passenger while dressed as a pseudo suicide bomber. The costume, intended to entertain career day visitors and plug Electrical Engineering, consisted of a black hoodie with a lit circuit board and battery attached to the front, "Socket To Me Course VI" (and you groaned at plug electrical engineering) on the back and a lump of clay in Ms Simpson's hand. Too obvious to be really scary? Maybe, but State Police were not amused by the hoodie homage to Bill Belichik and they were prepared to use deadly force on Ms Simpson. This will not go into the Journal of The Institute for Hacks, TomfoFoolery and Pranks at MIT. MIT alums will remember what IHTFP really means, and some may remember an old prank that shows how times have changed. As a Yale at Harvard football game neared halftime - back before Division IAA when Ivy League ball meant a little more - the young announcer Brent Mussberger fearfully announced the end of the universe as a mini-explosion, essentially a firecracker, dislodged a small square of turf on the field. The crowd watched calmly and a few seconds later a balloon rose, announcing the presence of MIT with the message MIT 1-Harvard 0, all on national TV. Mussberger looked like an idiot, a role he has reprised throughout his career. The game continued and a good time was had by all. The crowd reaction would be understandably different today, this type of prank stopped being a prank on 9/11. Star Simpson should have known better, but she's a college sophomore. Can we plead this way down, and give her, at worst, a short suspended sentence with a chance to have her record expunged if it doesn't happen again?