Wendy and Lucy - Car Chase Wanted

Wendy and Lucy - Wendy (Michelle Williams) and Lucy (Lucy the dog, as herself) may be acting at an Oscar level here, but the film is a sleeper, in the worst sense of the term. Three car chases (at least one of which could be a dog chasing a car), two Bond girls and a train derailment would not be enough to wake up this movie, or its audience. Wendy is travelling from Indiana to Alaska on a shoestring with her dog Lucy. Things go bad, then worse, then still worse in Oregon and Wendy has no cushion, no little bit extra, she can use to turn things around. There's no Hollywood rescue here, just a bittersweet choice of an ending. Relax, Wendy does not eat Lucy. I said bittersweet - not canine noir.

Williams does much with little. The film is foreboding from the first scene and Wendy's life matches the mood. Wendy is relatively calm and slow to ask for help, even as her situation deteriorates, but Williams produces some very memorable scenes with limited dialog and no false histrionics. Two moments stood out for me - a sudden shift from brazen to pleading with the grocery manager deciding her fate after she's caught shoplifting and a convincing display of sheer terror (somehow conveyed while wrapped in a blanket with her face showing for only a few moments) after a long overdue sleep is interrupted by a deranged hobo.

Despite Williams, and Lucy, few will enjoy this movie. Director Kelly Reichardt is getting festival kudos for a film with no wasted motion, but there is just not enough story here.

Sperm Crisis Rocks Brits

Shortage of Sperm Donors in Britain Prompts Calls for Change - Yes, the linked article has a self explanatory title, but what to do? Elect Barack Obama - relax that was not racial stereotype humor, just could not resist overwrought "Calls for Change" headline. Seriously, there isn't enough sperm in Britain. Why? Can't get enough donors. Why? Because the donors aren't allowed to remain anonymous, at least not when the resulting child reaches age 18 and looks for his or her father. Also because each donor is allowed to spawn only 10 progeny - a number selected somewhat arbitrarily (it's 25 in the Netherlands) - to avoid inadvertent inbreeding.

In the days before Margaret Thatcher, that shrinking group of Brit sperm donors would have known exactly what to do. Form a union, get the fees up, offer pensions, improve working conditions, attract new donors. See the (secretly) related story on unionized Air Traffic Controllers bouncing back from the Reagan axe with a new local at Gitmo - Ronnie would no doubt have taken advantage of the conveniently located severe interrogation facilities to head this off at the pass. While you're digressing on unions, see today's editorial from Thomas Friedman preempting what otherwise might have been a funny post here on management and union at GM producing a financial black hole rivalled only by the mysterious astrofinancial marvel AIG.

So, maybe a new union's not the way to go, but there must be some way to deal with Great Britain's Great Sperm crisis. New York would know exactly what to do. Disguise the donation center as a slightly seedy (ouch) Days Inn, allow all the politicians, sorry, donors, to register repeatedly under the name Smith, upgrade every room to include free movie service and hand out passes for complimentary lap dances at that gentleman's club next door - problem solved.

Google Knows First

Google Uses Searches to Track Flu's Spread -The linked story reports Google's ability to spot flu outbreaks quickly, 10 days faster than the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, by tracking search queries like "flu symptoms" and "muscle ache". As MIT professor Thomas Malone notes, this is only the beginning.

Disease/Condition/Problem-------- Early Warning Search Keywords

Childhood Obesity------------------ Where is McDonald's
Early Onset Diabetes--------------- Snickers, McDonald's
Ozone Layer Depletion------------- SPF 48, Quantity Discount
Severe Ozone Depletion------------ Melanoma
Global Warming------------------- AC, sale
Severe Global Warming------------ Refrigeration Unit, room size
Extreme Global Warming---------- Lifeboats wanted
Iraq War-------------------------- Weapons of Mass Destruction
Iraq War-------------------------- Mission Accomplished
Iraq War-------------------------- Wikipedia Sunni, Shiite
Iraq War---------------------------Names of the Dead, 4188

Herb and Dorothy Collect

Herb and Dorothy - Over forty years ago, Herb Vogel, a postal worker, honeymooned with his new bride Dorothy, a librarian, at the National Gallery in Washington, D.C. Last year they were back, inspecting part of their own collection of minimalist and conceptual art, valued in the millions of dollars, with their names etched in stone at the top of the Gallery's wall of donors. The first feature-length film from director Megumi Sasaki, this documentary captures an extraordinary story. The couple is totally dedicated to art. They have no children. They lived in a one bedroom apartment so stuffed with art that just seeing it on screen induces an irresistible urge to shout the words "get out, fire trap" repeatedly. As their sister notes from her comfortable suburban home, Herb and Dorothy could sell one or two pieces and "live like us". Instead they donate all, overwhelming the National Gallery with over 5,000 pieces, some 2,500 of which will now be parceled out to one selected museum in each state (a fifty-fifty program - fifty pieces to each of the select museums in the fifty states). Their apartment purged, Herb and Dorothy have started collecting anew.

Herb has a strong, visual personality. He captures the film as the camera captures him. Herb is a self taught amateur artist who liked to hang out at the Cedar Tavern in the early 1960's with some of the young stars of the art world. Herb speaks rarely and briefly, but he is a man obsessed in a very visible way. When Herb spots a piece he covets he hunches suddenly forward with a rapt gaze - a hungry toad ready to capture a very tasty fly with a swift flick of the tongue. Herb clearly had an eye for what he wanted, an eye aided by his own training and his constant contact with the New York modern art scene.

Dorothy speaks freely, adding detail on the couple's history. She also talks about why the couple collects art and how they select specific artists and pieces, but on these subjects, one picture of the rapacious Herb says more than a thousand words from Dorothy.

The film marvels at the couples ability to build their collection on a modest income without ever selling a single piece, but it captures only part of how they did it. They started by collecting minimalists because that's what they could afford, the school was new and unpopular when the Vogels began to collect. They dealt directly with the artists, in fact the film includes one dealer complaining that he was cut out, despite his exclusive contract with the artist. The Vogels maintained long-term relationships with the artists, communicating regularly and buying multiple pieces. Negotiations are strictly off camera, but As Good As News is guessing Herb cut some truly extraordinary deals, especially after the Vogels had established their reputation as collectors. For an artist, a sale to the Vogels was validation and free advertising, all with the promise that no one would know the terms of a special deal and no work would ever be resold.

The story is intriguing, the film worth seeing, with one caveat. Ms Sasaki is preparing a shorter version for broadcast on PBS. With the right edits, this might actually be a superior product, and even Herb would like that PBS price.

Sleepwalk With Mike Birbiglia

Sleepwalk With Me at the Bleecker Street Theater is a one man show, the one man being Mike Birbiglia. Mr. Birbiglia is an extremely funny guy, not to be confused with Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow, the former dentist who is now President of Turkmenistan. Just to make sure you understand it's a one man show, the program lists the cast both alphabetically and in order of appearance. Most As Good As News readers already know that Mr. Birbiglia is a successful stand-up comic, and he's sleepwalking in top form. He's even funny when he asks the audience to turn off their cell phones, an exercise that takes about 5 minutes and establishes the Birbiglian variation on the Marxist dialectic - mention a topic, detour drolly on some very humorous, usually self-effacing tangents, then return to the topic - with a deadly honest point that is sometimes, but not always, deadly funny.

There's more going on here than a typical stand-up act (OK, I got the subtle signal - it's an off-broadway show produced by Nathan Lane instead of a Comedy Central special). This is a memoir centered around Mr. Birbiglia's real life problem with sleepwalking. The story meanders through his relationships with his father, the medical community, his first fiance, his wife, a La Quinta Inn, a pair of asymmetrical boobs and a climactic moment in Walla Walla, Washington- a moment that's circled for most of the show in the ultimate display of the Birbiglian dialectic.

The humor alone more than justifies the price of a ticket. Often, the story within the humor is told with compelling honesty. At times Mr. Birbiglia is cutting open an artery and spurting blood on the stage, but those comic tangents eliminate the cringe factor, the surgery is painless for the audience. I left the theater wondering about Mr. Birbiglia's life, a sure sign that the story worked on some level, but something is missing.

Beginning, middle, end - you can change the order, you can mix them together in the whirlpool of the Birbiglian dialectic, but the character needs motive to get from beginning to end. If the story is how did Mike Birbiglia get to that moment in Walla Walla, then some of the why never reached the stage.

The show does establish an inner conflict. Mr. Birbiglia has an intimidating doctor father who wants to keep everything secret, a history as a high school nerd (big deal, join the crowd), a touching story of falling in love with his first girl friend before he was ready to make a life-time commitment, a run-in with cancer. All part of what makes him funny, all part of the beginning and the middle, but not quite enough. This may be a conflicted guy who both desires and fears getting personal stuff out in the open and does not relish taking bad news head on, but he's not a paralyzed basket case. Before undertaking this show Mr. Birbiglia graduated from Georgetown and spent years successfully turning chunks of his autobiography into comedy. Why didn't he seek treatment for a sleepwalking problem so serious that he knew it endangered his own life and the lives of those closest to him? I don't know, but there is a little more to this story and Mr. Burbiglia's mother is conspicuous by her near absence.

See the show. Laughs are guaranteed. Maybe you'll spot the piece of the story I thought was missing. In any event, you will have something to ponder as your split sides are recovering.

Alaska First

This is a great moment in history. Why? Because equality of opportunity suddenly feels like a promise America can keep? Because in a difficult time that calls for real leadership, Barack Obama is smart, decisive and confident enough to listen, one of those rare leaders who actually knows what he doesn't know and is willing and able to learn quickly but with some real depth? Because change might be more than a campaign slogan thanks to some technically savvy organizing and fundraising that allowed the President-elect to keep one foot out of the special interest quagmire of quid pro quo contributions and cronyism that kills fresh ideas still born?

No (hey As Good As News is still a comedy blog), this is a great moment because Alaska, home to the Anchorage Anchor - Sarah Palin - has become the first State to elect a convicted felon to the United States Senate. (OK, we know the early ballots are still being counted and FiveThirtyEight is leaning blue - all the more reason to seize the moment, no other felon has come this close.) Alaska is remarkably low on qualified candidates for high office, explaining both Sarah Palin and Senator Teddy Topbunk Stevens. Steven's re-election raises some exciting questions. Will the Senate overturn the will of the Alaskan people (and caribou, reindeer and whatever else is voting in this Northern nuthouse) and refuse to seat Stevens even though he was re-elected after he was found guilty - guilty of accepting, and not reporting as a gift, home improvements for which he paid only a fraction of the cost? Will Stevens become the first Senator to vote via video phone, or maybe get prison leave so he can hit the Senate floor sporting the latest in wrist and ankle wear accompanied by a heavily armed posse of correctional officers?

In Steven's defense - if my own home improvement contractor had given me a bill for one-third of the actual price (which was stupendous in comparison not only to the estimate we received but to the gross national product of Turkmenistan), I would surely have paid it without even realizing I was getting a discount. If only Stevens had presented the jury with the "contractor run amok - who knew" defense, he would be a free man today.

Maybe Todd Palin has a point. This Alaska secession thing could work for everybody. Just remember, Todd, the oil is on Federal land, all bought and paid for by us, the American taxpayers, as part of Seward's folly. So take Alaska out of the Union, make your wife Prime Minister -she'll feel like she's on an equal footing when she's hobnobbing with her neighbor Putin and the real Sarkozy and all the other Prime Ministers are wearing those chic outfits from Neiman Marcus. Just don't forget to send the royalty checks for the oil and gas.

Yonkers Joe -

Yonkers Joe - seems to have it all. Start with a name cast performing well - Chazz Palminteri in the title role, Christine Lahti as his girlfriend Janice and Tom Guiry as his son Joe, almost twenty-one years old with Down Syndrome. Add a background where mechanics, hustlers who use their hands instead of their mouths to cheat in poker and craps, reveal some tricks of the trade - real sleight of hand that is more impressive than a slew of special effects. Finish with a bang - Yonkers Joe risks all to build a real relationship with a son he has kept at a distance, just as he's risking all to run a pair of doctored dice into a Vegas craps game as he tries to pull off the score of his life.

So why didn't I like this picture more? The early pacing is slow, but the interesting background on cheating makes this tolerable and the story ultimately gathers speed and some pleasant unpredictability. The real problem lies elsewhere. Palminteri is too good at being bad. Yonkers Joe is adept at cheating rubes out of their paychecks, not just casinos. Joe has no relationship with his son, he just wants to rush him back into another institution so he won't have to put up with him, even for a few months. Lahti's Janice is fiercely realistic about herself, but what does she see in Yonkers Joe? Joe is so thoroughly repellent for the first two thirds of this film that by the time he finally shows some interest in his son it's a little hard to swallow. The story ultimately forces you to root for Yonkers Joe, but the early scenes just don't plant the seeds that would explain his conversion or make you want to like him. There's enough here to recommend a rental, but not a trip to the theater at full price.