Hillary NOT on Craigslist

City Says It's Prepared as Taxi Strike Begins - This is old news to As Good As News - see yesterday's post for details on emergency unicycle distribution points. Cabbies strike because they don't want to take credit cards. Leaders say this will cut into income? Every other merchant in the world seems to be able to handle credit cards, what's wrong cabbies. Wasn't this cost part of the deal you made to get the last big fare increase through the TLC? What's the big deal here? Tips won't be rounded up? Cabbies will have to report more income to the IRS and pay taxes like the rest of us? As Good As News not prepared to join striking cabbies in chorus of Joe Hill over the credit card issue. Leaders also say that mandatory GPS units will turn the cabs into sweatboxes - duh - dont't many cabs already have GPS units? Aren't all the NYC cabs supposed to have AC? What is this strike really about? Union leadership trying to establish credibility with rank and file, or maybe just get a picture in the paper - well, no photo here Ms Desai.

In Turmoil of '68, Clinton Found a New Voice - So, why do so many people hate Hillary so much? It seems like she was a very nice young woman in college, active but working within the system. In fact, Hillary was so active that just reading this article will make me feel like I was a completer slacker in college for at least the next three days. She never used drugs (so much simpler than Bill's story), she was caught up in politics, not fashion. The story paints a positive picture of a thinking, caring dynamo, slides through some quotes that don't really make sense and rationalizes Hillary's effective work as a young Republican intern even after she became a liberal Democrat. But if the story is emphasizing the positive, why is the page 1 photo placed directly, and confusingly, above a headline about prostitutes using Craigslist? Once again, the NY Times seems to have some closet conservatives conspiring in composition.

The Incline is Going Up

After 40 straight days of finding something that passed for humor in the NY Times headlines, As Good As News will change formats for a few weeks, with posting shifting to a more sporadic schedule and features from new contributors, including Chris Reitmeyer and Corey Hassett, originally from Pittsburgh, Pa., pictured above - that is Pittsburgh that is pictured, not Chris and Corey. More humor, fewer headlines, As Good As News is moving on up.

FOR CLINTON, WOOING WOMEN REQUIRES A CAREFUL BALANCE - OK, make it 41 straight days, and this headline stands on its own. Do not even bother to look at the boring story, just appreciate the art of the headline itself, no room for any mention of Hillary or voters, just Clinton Wooing Women. No way this was the result of anything less than a well laid plan. NY Times has at least one Obama supporter composing headlines.

IN A SHIFT, US WILL ALLOW MOST TYPES OF CIGARETTE LIGHTERS ON PLANES - Cigarette lighters allowed on planes where smoking is always banned, thanks for the breakthrough, TSA. Now put on your thinking caps and come up with something really useful, like letting us wear our shoes as we pass through security. Relaxation of lighter ban not totally useless, we can use them while chanting encore if we are ever booked on a flight with a Dylan concert.

A CHAMPION AT CHECKERS THAT CANNOT LOSE TO PEOPLE - Canadian professors announce they have computational proof that Chinook, a checkers playing computer, cannot be defeated. Big deal, I used to go to a restaurant in Chinatown with a chicken that was undefeated in tic-tac-toe. You drew a grid in the dirt at the bottom of the cage and scratched in your X's and O's. The chicken never lost fair and square, but became very confused if you went out of turn. What does Chinook do when you say, "Quick, look over there" and take a checker off the board? It always works on nephews. What about the basic Star Trek (original TV series, not sequels or movies) question - if Chinook plays itself will the two computers compute to their deaths or settle for a dignified draw? The only real proof in this story is that Canadian professors have too much spare time.

CHENEY WINS DISMISSAL OF SUIT BROUGHT BY VALERIE WILSON - First, kudos to As Good As News, we did not use this story to drag in a picture of Valerie (Plame) Wilson. Pittsburgh looked too good. Second, no real news here. Darth and his codefendants, Scooter, Karl and Richard Armitage (nice guy weight lifter who looks like WWE refugee, Armitage was the real Val outer, albeit inadvertently) were heavy favorites to win. Much precedent for immunity from suit when officials are acting within the broad scope of their duties, to rule otherwise would open Pandora's box. W might even be civilly liable for injuries and deaths in Iraq. Wait - let's think about this.