A Peril Nearly Missed

A Designer Gives a Spice Girl Some Lessons on What's Sexy - Marc Jacobs has a fashion show during fashion week - yawn. The show includes styles that make even supermodels unattractive, including goofy head wear. So....- why does any normal human care about this? Look at the story title - NY Times fashion maven Cathy Horyn goes far out of her way to dis Victoria Beckham, alias Posh Spice. Victoria's outfit is outdated. Her too tight, oversexed look isn't just -so 2007-, it's emblematic of the "cartoonish Jessica Rabbit look" that is suddenly not sexy. Kudos to Ms Horyn - Beckham was insufferable in her unwatchable TV special and it is a spectacular delight to see a NY Times front page headline (we are talking A-1 here, the real front page, not some soon to be forgotten Section F Fashion spread that I can't get to until I finish the crossword) devoted to her demise. Best of all, it's a totally gratuitous attack. Ms Beckham's sole offense seems to be attending the show in last year's garb - which ought to be forgivable since this year's garb is not even for sale yet. Now Victoria Beckham is forever branded as a symbol of the unchic. Welcome to America, Posh. I know it seems dark right now, but it could be worse. Suppose David was the father of Sporty's baby.

After Change of Heart, a Guilty Plea in New Jersey Bank Robberies - Why is this an apparel story and how do we explain that awful "A Peril" pun in the title? Our indecisive felon is the Mad Hatter (see post of June 13) whose capture and initial plea in July slipped by during our visit to Ireland. Sadly he seems like a very ordinary thug with a lot of hats. Head wear from the Marc Jacobs show would not have saved this guy from capture, but would have gone a long way in any insanity defense.

Philippines Ex-President Convicted - Where's the fashion connection, you say. Precisely - that's the point. Joseph Estrada was ousted as President after accusations of womanizing and bribery used to support his expensive tastes. At no point in his trial, however, did the prosecution produce a stained blue dress or claim that Mr. Estrada was addicted to the purchase of shoes.

Decider Picks None of the Above

Bush Is Nearing A Choice To Lead The Justice Dept. - Let's not blow it again, W. Here are a few simple rules to follow, some of which you may actually like.

- Under no circumstances discuss this choice with Karl Rove, he's earned his retirement and he will only get you into trouble. What do you mean you already talked to Karl. No, you cannot name someone AG just because they want to prosecute Obama for loitering and remind Karl that there's no need for dirty tricks this year, you're not running for reelection. What? No, W, I know about FDR but it's in the Constitution now, didn't Alberto tell you that there are amendments too. I'm sorry W, you just can't run again.

-If anyone from Darth Cheney's office makes a suggestion listen carefully, then make sure that person does not become AG. I hear you W, and I know you really like Scooter Libby, but you just can't nominate the guy while he's serving time.

-When you finally have your short list, ask each candidate the same question. "What does the Constitution mean to you?" Now W, this is important, if anyone responds "What do you want it to mean" you have to send them home immediately. That's what got you into trouble with Mr. Yoo and Mr. Gonzales.

- Pick someone you trust. It's OK to pick a conservative Republican. Be careful though, a real conservative might actually care about Constitutional limits on executive power.

- Get a good manager. The AG has a big department to run, and it's already full of smart guys like John Yoo, smart guys with their own agenda, people that bear watching. The job demands people skills, the new AG will inherit a department that's been battered by Rove's political tampering and Darth's anything goes view of the Constitution. The gang that's left polishes their resumes from 9-5 then goes out for a beer after work every night to polish the lyrics to the new Justice Department theme song - Why We Hate W!

- Credentials are essential, especially with the mess you already made. Senate confirmation and respect from within the Justice Department will depend on these, but hey, you hired guys from Harvard (Gonzales) and Yale (Yoo) for jobs at Justice and they were disasters- Oh that's right - you went to Yale and Harvard, didn't you W - well, case closed. Why not try a Princeton undergrad, University of Texas Law grad with big-time government experience, someone who knows how to get along with a legislature - James A. Baker. Sure he's old and you blew off his Iraq report, but he cares about the country and he'll only be working for a year. With a little arm-twisting you can get him as AG and tell him to forget about that Azerbaijan-US Chamber of Commerce gig and make friends with Turkmenistan (As Good As News always stretching for an opportunity to plug Doc Gurby -it's not easy being the official blog of reclusive Turkmenistan.)

Second Opinion

Former Law Adviser Speaks Out On Bush - Jack Goldsmith is a conservative lawyer who served as head of the Office of Legal Counsel in the Justice Department. He resigned after just nine months and his book paints an ugly picture. The entire review is well worth reading. The W administration did whatever it wanted, then looked around for a lawyer to confirm that this was legal. Often they found John Yoo, a lawyer who did not let a small thing like the Constitution (or the Geneva convention or any other source of law) interfere with his legal opinion that W and Darth Cheney could torture and wiretap at will. Administration officials were constantly pushing the lawyers to expand executive authority. Michael Hayden (then NSA, now CIA Director) wanted to be sure that he "had chalk on his spikes", i.e., that he was acting at the outer boundary of executive authority. Thanks to Mr. Yoo's advice, Darth and W went so far beyond the chalk line that their cleats were picking up popcorn from the cheap seats near the top of the stadium. Yoo was a lap dog, selected for his conservative views, desperately eager to please in the post 9/11 world and directly loyal to Darth and W with an eye on the main chance and not much concern for his Justice Department superiors. A process in which an executive constantly pushes an independent, principled and capable lawyer for approval can work, the lawyer can say no when the law so dictates, witness Goldsmith's service. Although sometimes functional, executive pressure is not the best way to go - it's more fun to have a client who actually wants an advisor during the decision making process, not a rubber stamping scape goat. Even when the executive pressure system works, it makes life miserable for the lawyer (Goldsmith lasted only nine months) and requires nearly superhuman dedication unless the lawyer has organizational support. The Justice Department was at least somewhat functional until Mr. Gonzales, another lap dog, took over. An executive giving orders to a lap dog doesn't generate advice, it generates an excuse. Mr. Yoo's sole function was to justify W's "we didn't do anything illegal" soundbite when the extent of his domestic surveillance was uncovered. Sit Yoo sit, roll over Albert, atta boys, now tell us we don't need warrants for domestic surveillance - great job, here's a steak we'll ask you to define torture tomorrow. W and Darth should get no co credit for relying on advice of counsel in a process they rigged. Goldsmith's book is undoubtedly self serving, but as a conservative insider who shared W's objectives, his story has credibility.

An Opportunity for Wall Street In China's Surveillance Boom - China continues to install a grid of cameras and face recognition software and function as Internet super nanny. This technology can be used to fight traditional crime (muggers, Internet kiddie porn or fraud). It can also be used to repress dissent, free speech and political opposition. So what's new? Chinese security official Li Runsen made it obvious that he's getting rich from the surveillance by putting himself on the board of a private surveillance technology supplier incorporated in the US. California Democratic Congressman Tom Lantos is sputtering publicly about the fact that US hedge funds and investment banks are funding China's police state through investment in the the suppliers. The financiers point to surveillance cameras in NYC and say what's the problem. The problem is that NYC is not a repressive one party state (well at least we have a meaningful primary once in a while) that crushes democracy with tanks when the occasion arises. Supplying the high-tech police state is certainly a lucrative business. Returns must be great when the party officials involved in the suppliers are also guiding the purchases. Beware nonetheless, US financiers, it's only a matter of time before this technology is used to make sure that everyone who shows up for the next Tiananmen Square (wherever it may be, even if it is a virtual rally) and everyone who knows anyone who shows up for the next Tiananmen Square will be hunted down and reeducated. Then you, Barry Kitt of Pinnacle and you, Kenneth Griffin of Citadel, and you Jeff Feinberg of JLF can take pride in your role, and if you would prefer to forget about it, then I suspect Congressman Lantos and many others will be kind enough to remind you.

Low Technologies High Aims - MIT hosts the International Development Design Summit, the engineering and design equivalent (or perhaps much needed partner would be a better view) to the red hot field of microcapitalism. The goal -find affordable, available solutions for real needs of less developed areas, the backpack that makes it easier to carry water, the bicycle powered grain mill, the expandable drip irrigation system. The Summit is a four week workshop (including the welding seminar pictured above) that makes real progress on specific projects, not just a meet, greet, inspire and scatter. Let's add a fifth week next time, invite hedge funds in to view the projects as potential investments, maybe come up with a home for some money that doesn't help to make a powerful police state impregnable.

Couch Potato Propaganda

Nathan Jones, graduate of Rutgers and Scotch Plains-Fanwood H.S., is on the Cowboy roster for a fourth year. Listed as a backup cornerback, he made the stop for the Cowboy's on the opening kick-off, nearly causing a fumble. On the Cowboy's next special teams play Nate wrapped up the holder after a bad snap, for two tackles in his first two trips onto the field. Even those who detest America's team can root for Nate Jones, a collegiate Academic All -American and a good citizen from way back when he spoke to the PAL football banquet as the star of the high school team.

A Stir, but No Crisis, From Principal's Gender Change - The principal of Ulster County's Career and Technical Center came back as a woman this Fall. Yawn. Most took it in stride, but Michael Locasio complained, "God makes things perfect and people want to screw it all up." Mr. Locasio seems to have no connection whatsoever to the school. Not clear why he was included in the story, but for the exciting contrast between his quote and the fact that he owns a tattoo parlor. I don't think the Times did this just to make fun of Mr. Locasio, I think they did it to drive As Good As News crazy. Suck us in with the irrelevant, but irresistible quote, then torture us with yet another insoluble headline capitalization brain teaser. Can anyone explain why "but" is not capitalized in the story title but "From" is?

Still Married With Children , But Trading Insults in Russian - so now "But" is capitalized but "in" isn't"? This story is great news for all Americans. OK, Putin is sounding more and more like a wild West capitalist version of Hitler, claiming the North Pole as Russian territory, supporting Serbia's saber rattling in Kosovo, establishing youth gangs who will make him President for life, prosecuting political dissidents on trumped up charges. All bad, agreed. But how worried can you really be about a country that takes Russian language retreads of "Married with Children" to its heart as a top rated show. Give the would be brown shirts another decade in the new Russia and the Putin Youth will turn into couch potatoes who want to join the Air National Guard to make sure they won't see combat. Even in the still photo you can see the Russian "Peg" has really captured the spirit of the original.

Foul Ups

Today we revisit recent posts with new information and assess a plot twist for Big Love.

As Good As News was dead wrong in not picking Justine Henin to win the US Open singles (original post - Scouting Report - September 3). The problem may have started in the semis, where Venus Williams was holding her own in the second set, despite spraying some forehands long. Suddenly, Venus was asking the chair umpire for help from the trainer, which is allowed, but not until the next changeover. Bang, Venus loses three points and her service game in no time. By the time the trainer can get on court to take Venus's pulse the match is out of control. Henin wins in straight sets, shows up for the final rested and confident and handles Kuznetsova with ease. The Kuznetsova pick assumed that an exhausted Williams or Henin would struggle into the final, but Henin looked like she could have handled Kuznetsova even if Henin had been worn down by Venus.

As Good As News gets partial credit for spotting mixed doubles champ Victoria Azarenka as a talent to watch. Perhaps we can still redeem ourselves completely if we get lucky with the courageous pick of Roger Federer as men's singles champ.

The Golden Gate Bridge authority should be collecting royalties from Ghirardelli Chocolates( original post - Golden Gate Could be Golden - August 26). Take a look at the ad on the back cover of the Times Magazine. Great photo of the bridge at night, how about a small contribution to keep that bridge beautiful, not to mention safe.

A Fugitive Political Fund Raiser Leaves A Shadowy Money Trail - Mystery campaign contributor Norman Hsu may not be so rich, he filed for bankruptcy in Hong Kong in 1998. He is in custody. Bits and pieces of information are emerging. Hsu was clearly using a shell company to shuffle money around, in one month in 2003 taking $600,000 from various sources, including $200,000 from two individuals, and then transferring $600,000 to other individuals who contributed money to the Clinton campaigns through Hsu. This looks like a mechanism to help the sources for these funds circumvent limits on campaign contributions. Hsu's lawyer denies "Hsu provided money for others to make contributions", but the statement was narrowly worded. Reimbursing for prior contributions is equally illegal, and defense counsel's statement includes only Hsu, not his companies.

A $100,000 political contributor who's using a shell game to avoid detection usually wants something in return, access at the very least. Someone was almost certainly paying for the full attention of Senator Clinton, although if everything was presented through Hsu and his straw man donors Hillary may well not have known about the shenanigans to avoid contribution limits. How Hsu evaded campaign finance laws will be interesting - but, because she is not an idiot, we will find Hillary did not know anything about violations of campaign finance law. Watch for a deeper issue - who were the fat cats that funded the contributions Hsu managed? What issues mattered to these fat cats? What positions did Hillary take on these issues and how active was she? In other words, what did Hsu's backers get for their money.

Boys Cast Out By Polygamists Find New Help - The arithmetic of polygamy creates a problem. If a man is supposed to have four wives, and if the birthrate is 50/50 male/female, then what do the three males who are shut out of the marriage market do? Not something we think about every day in New Jersey, but the numbers don't lie - it's a serious problem. In the fundamentalist LDS sect run by Warren S. Jeffs the unlucky extra males are selected, ejected and shunned as teens, usually on the basis of a pretext that makes the kids believe they are doomed to eternal damnation. Ejection also creates some immediate problems, like loss of family, food, clothing and shelter. The families, even many of the male teen victims, remain true believers in Mr. Jeffs' vision. To the non-believer the power of faith and 24/7/365 conditioning is amazing. With this kind of hold on his sect, it's surprising Jeff's doesn't turn the extra males into a militia of suicide bombers. No wife for you in this life, but if you take out an IRS agent or a Federal Marshall you'll find forty virgins when you get to heaven. Fortunately Mr. Jeffs is about to stand trial on charges of sexual exploitation, but watch for the bachelor militia angle in the season finale of Big Love.

Finally, even the Times does not understand it's own general approach to headline capitalization. The notion that any rule applies seems to be a massive oversimplification perpetrated by the naive here at As Good As News. In the polygamy story headline, "By" is capitalized in the hard copy, but not on line. Since a preposition should not be capitalized in the "rule" As Good As News derived by observation, this may be a simple correction. Maybe the e-crew took the opportunity to fix a mistake that slipped by the hard copy gang working on deadline. I think it's actually a sinister plot to drive me nuts.

The Problem Was...The ....Thing Worked

They Just Call Them Smartphones - This feature is a replay - one man's war against failed, and extremely annoying, technology. In this case the enemy is a Treo, the prime competitor to the Blackberry. The author struggles valiantly against problem after problem, but is finally driven to a maniacal attack on his own Treo with a Swiss army knife when the software fixes cause total failure. I think you first read this story shortly after the wheel was invented. You will not read it again today (unless you have a hard copy of the Sunday Times or subscribe to Times select ) because the story is a Times Select item, reserved for the privileged few. I read the hard copy. The link above is just a teaser, it won't take you past the Times Select barrier, but hey, the story, and this post, are all about about frustration with technology. Click the story link just to get that feeling of frustration going.

Now, if you really want to go somewhere for fun with a Swiss Army knife - use the "Michael Hassett at MySpace" link in the right hand column and then play the "Failed States" video clip. While you're there have some cell phone fun with "Let Me Speak To Victor".

I had the Treo competitor, the Blackberry, for several years. It worked extremely well. I would get e-mails 24 hours a day, weekends and vacations included. These sometimes included long attachments that I could read, with great effort, on the tiny screen - nothing like struggle rewarded to create a feeling of accomplishment. And the Blackberry worked very well as a phone, with or without the borglike blue tooth ear piece. I was always available to anyone at work who needed me in an emergency. So unlike the Treo, my Blackberry worked precisely as intended, and yet it drove me just as crazy as the victim of the non-functioning Treo in the main story. Even now I cringe when my wife's blackberry buzzes from within her purse to announce an arriving e-mail. Is 24/7 e-mail really good for anyone? Why was my definition of emergency so different than a few of my clients? I turned my Blackberry in gladly on retirement and bought a regular cell phone (regular meaning one with camera, Internet etc.). It works for me. I even get bonus calls for Victor. Play the clip, like all my comedy it's reality based.

Have You Looked in Vegas

The As Good As News scouting report on Victoria Azarenka predicted her singles loss to Kuznetsova, while noting that we would hear more from her. It did not take long. See the post of September 3 for a photo of the 2007 US Open mixed doubles champs, Max Mirnyi and Victoria Azarenka, who saved five consecutive break points in a second set tiebreaker to grab the championship.

Virus Is Seen as Prime Suspect in Death of Honeybees - A team of entomologists and geneticists identified Israeli acute paralysis virus as a primary, but not sole, cause of mysterious, mass bee hive die-offs in North America last winter. This mystery remains partially unsolved. Other suspected causes -poor nutrition, frequent transport of hives in "industrialized" beekeeping. Wait a minute - let's look at what is really happening here, the workers leave the hive and do not return. This whole die-off thing is really a mysterious disappearance, no one is reporting they found millions of little honeybee corpses in the back yard. In the bee hive you have the queen who is, well, the queen. You have the drones, males who sit around the hive, eat the free honey, watch the big screen plasma TV, take an occasional stab at making their contribution to reproduction and then die young. No real motive for these guys to disappear. Finally, you have the workers, undeveloped females who work constantly to keep the hive going, essentially spending their lives as slaves. The workers are leaving the hive and not coming back. Poor nutrition? Perhaps, but if the virus is not the whole story then we should look for a massive increase in the worker bee population of Las Vegas. Maybe paid vacation and some health benefits would get those worker bees back into the hives.

Survey Reveals Student Attitudes, Parental Goals and Teacher Mistrust - Nearly half of NYC middle and high school students say students who get good grades are not respected. Mayor Bloomberg views this as troubling and calls for a shift to a "culture of success." You may have this one backwards, Mayor B. Nerds are historically unpopular - in fact "nearly half" is a surprisingly low number - the regular kids probably didn't believe the survey was really anonymous. Sure this makes for some tough years in middle school and high school - but isn't that the incentive to get into a college where you can be normal? The fact that one-third of teachers mistrust the principal is more interesting. This may have something to do with the fact that NYC principals can now actually do something if they think a teacher is incompetent. Let's watch this number in future surveys. Will teacher trust go up or down and why - because the principals earn the trust of the good teachers or push out the mistrustful.

The Brothers Solomon - Mixed review of a new movie characterized as slapstick in the style of the early Steve Martin (insert arrow through skull thusly). Key to success - the inspired casting of Lee Majors (The Big Valley, Six Million Dollar Man) as the comatose dad.