Thursday, August 13, 2009

Chavez Surprised on Second

Part 2 - Part 1 posted on August 12, 2009

The Chavez strike force encountered shocking resistance on the 200 yard par 3 second hole of the Caracas Country Club yesterday. The special forces team had used the night hours to import a fleet of inflatable assault craft on which they expected to sail smoothly over the piranha infested water hazard to an easy landing on the beach, the large bunker surrounding the terraced green. Groundskeepers, inspired by the beer cart girl's spirited defense of the first hole yesterday, had something else in mind. Apparently this band of brothers was more worried about losing their paycheck than maintaining solidarity with The Mighty Wind Who Would Rule Venezuela For Life. Working under cover of darkness the greens team filled the greenside bunker with quick lime. The Chavez forces paused in confusion as the first wave waded ashore into the bunker, then recoiled in horror as their boots began to burn. After allowing the first twinges of doubt to blossom in the strike force, Renaldo, head greenskeeper at the Club, turned them into fear with the wave of a towel that brought a fleet of speeding attack mowers out from their hiding place behind the green. The mowers swept relentlessly down on the strke force, never slowing, racing through the panicked soldiers like so many blades of tall grass on a beeline to the beached prows of the assault craft. As mower blades met rubber the craft began to deflate violently, launched back into the water hazard by the jet propulsion of compressed air suddenly rushing through puncture wounds. The special forces teams still on the boats were suddenly knee deep in water, piranha infested water, and sinking fast. The mowers circled back on the beached assailants, the engines roar drowning the screams from the boats. On this day the Chavez forces would not triumph. Renaldo, taller and younger than most of the men on his crews, had grown up on the golf course as an assistant groundskeeper's son in Southern California and returned to his homeland for the chance to become head groundskeeper at a prestigious club. Now he exhaled deeply for the first time in hours, relieved that his plan had succeeded, the Club was safe, for now. The Mighty Wind could only roar in frustrated rage.

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