Tuesday, December 1, 2009

GDL Status Report

Initial Report from the office of the provisional Secretary of Defense, Ginger Defense League:

Today's New York Time's story on the arrest of a handful of ginger baiting and beating bullies in Southern California provides a new level of visibility for the oppressed redhead - a great opportunity for fundraising and political action. It also creates great peril for the secret defense branch of the GDL. A brief update on current actions follows:

- Liason with local law enforcement in Southern California leads to arrests, excellent results achieved through secret, targeted communications with gingers holding senior LLE positions;

- Vigorous follow-up with NY Times required - See California: Boys Detained After Prank -would this be a "prank" if gays or African-Americans had been assaulted? This will require more than a letter to the editor, volunteers to assemble in alley behind shebeen 1AM tonight;

- Facebook Group "National Kick a Ginger Day, are you going to do it" finally taken down - how many Gingers had to die for this nightmare to end. Facebook executives totally unresponsive, usual "not responsible for content" bs - Ginger Bill Gates has expressed some interest in buying Facebook and dismissing current management team;

- Armament purchase negotiations are moving forward with consulting assistance from the Continuity IRA;

- In a joint initiative with the GDL Treasury, progress continues on obtaining a slice of Scottish North Sea oil revenues - Scotland's position as host to the highest per capita ginger population makes the GDL alliance a politically popular security measure in Scotland, but these funds will evaporate instantly if any hint of the GDL's undercover operations comes to light;

- Rupert Grint continues consideration of role as GDL spokesperson. Tight security for these meetings has, to date, averted all media coverage.

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