- orange traffic cones marked "FUNERAL";
- smiley face dunce caps;
-all caps "OPTIMISM"; and best of all
- use of the mantra "Just because you take the L train does not make you cool."
Judge Sharply Dismisses Former Gossip Writer's Suit - Jared Paul Stern, a former gossip writer, sued the Daily News, Bill and Hillary Clinton, a secret service agent, a public relations consultant (sorry, As Good As News regulars, it was not the fabled Norah Lawlor), a reporter and a grocery store magnate (this gang should not go on a three hour cruise together - sounds like someone is planning a Gilligan remake), claiming they had conspired to damage Stern's reputation, defamed him and inflicted emotional distress upon him. Yesterday the complaint was dismissed. Judge Sharply noted that the complaint, although it read like a Mickey Spillane novel, failed to allege specific facts. Normally plaintiff would get a chance to amend the complaint and continue the suit. In this case Judge Sharply dismissed with extreme prejudice, stating that Stern, a Page Six freelancer once accused of extorting funds from the grocery store magnate, had no reputation to lose (well, no good reputation) and thus could not have been damaged, regardless of any new facts Stern might allege. Stern spoke to a group of reporters after learning of the decision:
Judge Sharply just ran over me like I was standing in front of the fire exit when the alarm sounded. Who named this guy judge, jury and executioner? Who named this guy Sharply, the sign on his desk said Justice Tolub.