Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Will The Real J. Geils Please Show Up

Can Rice Lead to Gold? Marathon Will Offer Test - The world is bashing the US for contributing to high grain prices by using corn to produce ethanol fuel, but this trend is not going away. Running shoe guru Hitoshi Mimura has designed a new shoe for ASICS, blending ground rice husks into the sole. The husks absorb water, increasing traction by 10%. A rice umbrella that will absorb water and double as an upper body strength training device is already on the drawing board and ASP (Association of Sake Producers) warns that these innovations can only trigger staggering price increases in an already tight market. In a related story the Rumpelstiltskin Society has claimed that ASICS "Rice to Gold" ad campaign infringes on the "Straw to Gold" motto the Society has used since its founding in 1837.

Austen's Inspiration - A portrait of Thomas Lefroy, the inspiration for Jane Austen's Mr. Darcy, goes on sale at a London antiques fair. The real Lefroy dumped Austen after a flirtation to marry an heiress. Meanwhile Christie's auctions a selection of artifacts from the James Brown Collection, including a "Sex Machine" belt buckle. The NY Times receives full credit for combining Mr. Darcy with the sex machine belt buckle. Three related stories ran separately on the same page. R. Kelly will take the fifth in his trial on statutory rape charges. A NY court bars 50 Cent from selling the lot he owns on Long Island, the lot where the home of his son and former girlfriend was recently destroyed by arson as Mr. Kelly was striving to evict them. The J. Geils Band announces a reunion concert on July 3 in Boston Common featuring greatest hits like "Love Stinks".

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