Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Tase Before You Shoot, Some Real Flower Power, Scandalous Video, Sophia Loren and More

Report on City Police Shootings Urges More Use of Tasers Before Guns - Commissioner Kelly explains that the new tase before you shoot approach will payoff with immediate benefits for the NYPD, because it is just so much easier to hit a target that's already been stunned. This will avoid embarrassing media circuses, like the flap that followed the fifty shots fired in the Sean Bell killing, not to mention the savings on ammunition. From now on its one slug per suspect, err perp. Even the perp who's lucky enough to survive and get off on some ridiculous technicality ("I was unconscious when they read my Miranda rights", typical lawyer bs) will think hard before doing anything to trigger another meeting with the NYPD.

Net Providers to Block Sites with Child Sex - NY Attorney General Andrew Cuomo is one busy beaver, lining up a settlement with three Internet providers to block access to kiddie porn on Usenet. Besides reminding New Yorkers of the burning Cuomo question -what will Andrew run for next if Hillary retains her Senate seat - the story depicts Usenet as the back alley of the Internet, once new and shiny, now little used and seedy. Sounds like a renewal project that calls out for Disney. Today's Times Square may be antiseptic, but it's not seedy.

Loyal to Its Roots - Professors Susan Dudley and Amanda File discover the sea rocket's ability to recognize related plants. When surrounded by non-relatives the sea rocket aggressively sends out nutrient grabbing roots, when among family the sea rocket restrains itself. Picture a plant army marching across the plains, sparing friend and starving foe. Scary. All further research in this area has been classified, but leaked satellite photos show religious fundamentalist from several sects reading sacred texts to camps of young sea rockets - sunlight, food and water follow readings from the holy book -darkness and near-fatal doses of weed killer follow readings from the texts of other faiths. Darwin's Origin of Species serves as a stand-in text for the godless.

Another Scandalous Video, Another Apology - No wonder Amy Winehouse uses drugs. Her husband, the inaptly named Blake Fielder-Civil repeatedly tells her he's not recording as she croons a racist lullaby and a few hours later the video's gone viral. Get a new husband before you try rehab again Ms Winehouse. In the meantime As Good As News will continue to chase every headline using the magical words "Scandalous Video", no matter how thin the resulting post.

New DVDs - Deneuve and Loren Still Haunt the Screen - As Good As News has absolutely nothing to add to the linked story - an observant review of two less than exciting boxed DVD sets. As with "Scandalous Video", As Good As News will chase Times photos of Sophia Loren, even when the resulting post is nonexistent.

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