Late Night Joke Tester?

With Nods to The Strike, Late-Night Hosts Return -"Eight weeks after their writers went on strike and plunged their shows into reruns, Jay Leno, David Letterman and Conan O’Brien returned to late-night television Wednesday with original shows in which both the Iowa caucuses and the new facial hair on two of the hosts loomed large. Mr. Letterman, who sported a thick beard as gray as Mr. O’Brien’s was red...Mr. Leno said that the union rules allowed him to write jokes for himself. “I write jokes and wake my wife up in the middle of the night and say, Honey, is this funny,” he told the audience."

I am clearly Late Night material, with a half red, half gray beard and the same joke testing technique as Leno. I ask my wife if a new bit is funny. She typically replies "No". Not satisfied, because I am always irrationally enamored of my own material, I press on. "Why not, be a little constructive, it's a funny idea, there must be some way to make it work..." After listening patiently for up to two seconds, my wife will explain calmly that my joke's not funny, "because it sucks" ..........
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Not Just Voter Fatigue: Candidates Mischime In - Covering sleep deprivation on the campaign trail, this piece features a quote from notorious night owl Bill Clinton, “You have no idea how many Republican and Democratic members of the House and Senate are chronically sleep deprived because of this system,” Mr. Clinton said in September on “The Daily Show.” “I know this is an unusual theory, but I do believe sleep deprivation has a lot to do with some of the edginess of Washington today.” While Bill looks on this as a problem, W reacts to the yawns of Congressional Democrats with a grin, "sleep deprivation is OK, but I would really like to see these windbags after a few hours of water boarding.".....
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States Hesitate To Lead Change On Executions - All 36 states that execute by lethal injection use a combination of 3 drugs, designed not just to kill, but to kill without any last minute writhing that might discomfit witnesses to the execution. The question of whether this 3 drug combination is cruel and unusual punishment is about to reach the Supreme Court. In the meantime all 36 states that use it have put death on hold, but none will shift to a different approach. Lawyers in the case now reaching the Supreme Court argue that injection of a single barbiturate , the method used when euthanizing animals, will kill quickly and with less chance of pain. This method was considered but never used by any state, partly because of that nagging writhing problem, partly because it just didn't sound right to execute your condemned like they were animals. As Good As News says, if you must execute - then appearances be damned. Treat the condemned more humanely in fact while getting the maximum deterrent effect from a good death rattle and a headline announcing Cop Killer Dies Like Dog.

Hospitals Slow in Heart Cases, Research Finds - Code Blue? Oh yeah- I heard that, but I'm on my break.