Backspin

Tehran Says It Has Designed A Smart Bomb - The initial reaction from as Good As News is fantastic, but very surprising, news. Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is goofy, but he is sometimes clever. Wouldn't he realize that any truly smart bomb would make a u-turn immediately after launch and explode in his lap? Iran can't just launch this thing, they need to brainwash it first. There must be more to this story. Hugo Chavez, President for Life of Venezuela, and the Cheech to Ahmdinejad's Chong, announced recently that he was adjusting time by one-half hour. Perhaps Chavez plans to reverse the Earth's rotation momentarily (think Superman resurrecting Lois Lane - although in "real" science fiction, you would rotate forward at a speed exceeding the speed of light to reverse time). This rotational adjustment would disrupt the rest of the world's guidance systems, but certainly Hugo would share the details of his time plan with his pal Mahmoud. So, with the appropriate adjustments to the targeting coordinates, Tehran would not just have a smart bomb, it would have the world's only working smart bomb. Somehow As Good As News will sleep soundly tonight, it just doesn't seem like Cheech and Chong are up to this....yet.

Tennis Everyone? Older Players Lose Swagger but Gain Swag - It's not just the Earth that can spin backwards, warping chronological expectations. Each year hundreds of tennis seniors (like 86 year old Lucy Dettmer, pictured above) get endorsement deals with equipment manufactures. OK, Lucy's getting free rackets, not making millions, but I'm still impressed. In fact I'm junking my plan to win the Head of the Charles Men's Grand Master Single in 2033 and concentrating full time on tennis. With focus and dedication, I think I can get a free pair of shoes by the time I'm 75.