Tuesday, August 28, 2007

If Only, Thinks Larry Craig

High Rolling Right Past Las Vegas - The Venetian in Macao opens today with three canals. OK, so the Vegas Venetian has only one canal, at least it's not polluted.
Senator, Arrested in an Airport Bathroom, Pleads Guilty - Senator Larry E. Craig, Republican of Idaho, was arrested in June by an undercover police office in a men's bathroom at Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport and plead guilty three weeks ago to disorderly conduct charges. He seems to be scrambling, PR wise, now that Roll Call broke the story. The undercover policeman in the stall adjoining Craig's reports that Craig tapped his foot in "a well known signal to engage in lewd conduct." Apparently tapping wasn't enough, Craig went on to brush the officer's foot, then wave his hand under the stall divider several times before his arrest. Now that it's public Craig is saying (and thinking):
-I was not involved in any inappropriate conduct. (I wasn't bothering anybody. Everyone knows that bathroom is a gay rendezvous, why else would they have a cop in there? I swear that prick tapped back or I never would have brushed his foot - it was entrapment.)
-I should not have plead guilty. I was trying to handle the matter myself and expeditiously. (I just shut my eyes and pretended it would all go away. Now I'm ruined. If I had just thought it over I could have told them I was only trying to borrow some toilet paper.)
-I said it was "completely ridiculous" when those snarky homosexuals tried to out me last year and I still do. (Damn, if only I had known this was going to come out - the story I mean, not me. I should have said I thought I was in the ladies room.)

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