To The Ramparts Turkmen

STYMIED BY G.O.P., DEMOCRATS STOP DEBATE ON IRAQ - Senate Democrats cut and ran after one all nighter failed to produce victory on proposal to withdraw American troops from Iraq. I put more effort than this into my organic chemistry final. The cots and pizza were at the ready for a prolonged siege. Maybe it was too much to expect Senator Reid to make like Tony Soprano going to the mattresses, but couldn't we at least get Jimmy Stewart in Mr. Smith goes to Washington?

BEHOLD TURKMENISTAN'S MARVELS! (AUTHORIZED VERSION) - OK, now we are really getting mad. Sarcastic parenthetical ----IN THE HEADLINE; photo of building identified as the "toilet plunger" (above); feature built entirely around quotes from guide named "kaka" and snide counterpoint supplied by the ever objective C.J. Chivers. This piece might have been barely adequate if you had filed it in 2005, Mr. Chivers. But whence comes a story on the Niyazov government by personality cult that fails to even mention the breath of fresh air accompanying Doctor Gurby's arrival? Did you actually visit Ashgabat, Mr. Chivers, or just find this story in the phone book, under kaka. Leave the four S's of blogdom (satirical, snide, sarcastic and snarky) to As Good As News, the official blog of Reclusive Turkmenistan, Mr. Chivers. Your superiors will hear about this in the strongest possible terms as soon as I finish the new Harry Potter. In the interest of fairness (an interest NY Times does not appear to share) As Good As News must note that this is the first NY Time's report ever on Turkmenistan that fails to use the term "reclusive". Time's editors appear to be wavering between authoritarian and totalitarian to replace reclusive as the official Turkmenistan modifier of the NY Times.