Sunday, July 15, 2007

Cagey Pope Plays Deep Game

It's Sunday morning so As Good As News will focus on, who else, the Pope. A good news, bad news day for Benedict XVI. First the good news, the Pope reasserted the primacy of the Roman Catholic Church as the sole mediator of salvation and noted defects in other Christian faiths. Protestant leaders whined that this would hurt ecumenical relations, but they are missing the subtle strategy pursued by this politically astute Pope. On the surface it looks like the Pope's story is simple and he's sticking to it: " you are going to hell if you are not a Roman Catholic." Not warm and fuzzy, perhaps, but forget the Episcopalians and the Greek Orthodox, this Pope knows where the action is, this is a breakthrough step in establishing common ground with radical Islam. The Pope has just opened a dialogue with another group that shares his my way or the highway belief system. Radical Islamists will not only damn you to hell for modern, Westernized behaviour, they will gladly accelerate your date of departure with suicide bombs and beheadings. Pope has now established his own radical fundamentalist cred, next move is to convince radical Islamists to allow infidels to die a natural death and leave the sentencing to Allah. Nobel peace prize will follow. The bad news? NY Times reports Archdiocese of Los Angeles will settle child abuse claims of 500 plaintiffs for $660 Million. At over $1 Million per plaintiff this dwarfs the $85 Million paid to settle 552 claims in Boston. With more settlements on the horizon the cagey Pope may be looking for more than just the Nobel Peace Prize - how about a new relationship between Vatican Bank and Saudi lenders. This Pope won't hesitate to remind them that Shariah prohibits charging interest. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Pope is pictured above with other fundamentalist leaders:
  • Alireza Jamshidi (on Pope's left), Iranian judicial spokesman announcing continued use of stoning to implement death penalty for adultery;
  • David Vitter (far left), family values Senator from Louisiana - Note to Alireza - Ali, be a fundamentalist bro, do not, repeat do not under any circumstances tell the guys with the stones about Vitter's brothel faux pas - it was a long time ago and he is very sorry;
  • Bud Selig (although Bud's expression is far more menacing than guy announcing stonings - Bud's fundamentalist cred is actually very shaky, designated hitter is an abominable heresy and Bud would have paid dearly by now in any country with a real justice system); and,
  • Mr. Smiley Face derriere graffiti used to surround and harass highly suspect "interdenominational church" in Times Square- Pope and Mullahs may have collaborated on this graffiti campaign, Pope's plan already in action.

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