Thursday, December 20, 2007
Fire Breaks Out on White House Grounds - Fire damaged the Vice President's Ceremonial Offices in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building Across the street from the West Wing. W was effusive in his praise of firefighters, who arrived in time to save the office from fire damage, although smoke and water may have taken some toll. The office contains a desk first used by Theodore Roosevelt in 1902 and signed by every user since. W, who uses the ceremonial VP office on the many days when Darth Cheney chooses to work in the Oval Office, has already signed the desk, after noting proudly that he was fixing to leave at least one mark on Washington.
Florida State Investigation Threatens Bowden's Mark - Florida State announced the retirement of Bobby Bowden, effective immediately and the NCAA vacated twenty wins the Seminole's had recorded over the last three season in games won with the contributions of players who didn't do their own homework. Bowden did not speak at the press conference held by FSU, but a voice sounding oddly like Alan Iverson's famed "Practice" chant was heard in the background, repeating the word "homework" in despairing tones. In an unrelated story Joe Paterno resigned from Penn State as holder of the record for most career wins, taking an 18 win lead over Bowden thanks to the NCAA action. Joe Pa had no comment on developments at FSU, in fact he said only "Free At Last" before cancelling a recruiting trip and heading for Florida.