Monday, December 3, 2007

Fish fry, Nate flies, Hugo's down, Doc Martens are out

Steeler Hangover - Sorry Dolphins. If the Fish finish without a win, they won't be the first, but they will suffer the worst. Does any one remember the 1976 Tampa Bay Bucs, or any of several other win less NFL teams? Not really. But three factors will combine to make the Dolphins torture something special. The first is the Dolphin's own history, the undefeated 1972 squad featuring the No Name Defense that went 14-0 then won three postseason games, including the Superbowl. The second is the unlucky coincidence that New England remains undefeated and a good bet to go all the way, besting the 1972 Dolphins with a 16-0 record. Third is the media's love of irony. Not a single story on the Pats will resist the opportunity to mention they broke the record just as the Dolphins dove to new depths. The Miami coach and players will face interview after interview beginning, "In a year when the Pats surpassed the Dolphins record for wins in an undefeated season, you reached a new low, how...".

No one will ever forget the Fish if they lose out while the Pats go all the way, and no one should have to take this. Dolphins, As Good As News is pulling for you to get a win. The Bengals may be demoralized by the time you see them in the season's last game, not to mention the fact that half the Cincinnati team could be in police custody at any given moment. In the meantime, join Steeler fans in pulling for a Patriot loss this Sunday. The Steeler offense has been lost for three weeks, they are due.

Nathan Jones of Scotch Plains, NJ gets 15 minutes of fame for knocking Bret Favre out of Thursday night's Cowboys v. Packers game. Root for Favre to start against Oakland this Sunday. Jones took Favre out on a clean hit - he deserves better than to be known as the guy who ended Favre's record streak for consecutive starts. How about, Bret starts this Sunday and Nate returns an interception to pull out a play-off win for the Cowboys in January.

Venezuelan Ballot:

Vote for one choice only

1. Chavez as President for Life, Totalitarianism, gradual economic decline, chaos and despair;

2. Democracy

Stunningly, Mr. Chavez announces the proposed constitutional amendment has failed in a close vote and he cannot make the changes he would like, "for now". This choice was so clear even Hugo couldn't stuff enough ballot boxes to pull out victory.

Leno to Pay Salaries of Staff Members - NBC lays off the staff as the writer's strike shuts down production, but Leno will join Conan O'Brien in continuing salary payments to non-writers. A gracious decision by Conan and a belated "me too" by Leno.

An Anti Fashion Classic Returns - Dr. Martens pulls ad campaign featuring dead rockers wearing Doc Marten's in heaven with apologies and launches new campaign featuring live models wearing their Docs with grunge and bored expressions, more styles and Internet marketing. Wow, new campaign sounds fresh and original, assuming we can consider 1992 retro, and backing down on the original campaign should do wonders for anti-establishment cred. With a kiss of death story headlined, "They're Baaaack", Us Weekly heralds the new Dr. Martens, thus confirming the new campaign is drek that will kill the brand once a flash of mass market popularity fades. Spurred on by praise from Us Weekly, the hip will clean Dr. Marten's from their closets as soon as they stop gagging. Is there any way to short the stock of Air Wair International - the company that sells Dr. Martens?

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