Sunday, November 4, 2007

Letterman Strikes Back

The writer's strike is upon us. Dave, yes, you! David Letterman. This is your opportunity to recapture, finally, those fickle, gossip hungry voyeurs who fled to the Tonight show to watch Hugh Grant apologize for hiring a hooker and never came back. Don't run a rerun tomorrow, surprise that humorless gasbag Jay Leno with an attack while he has no writers to defend him. You don't need to write anything, just type “Leno Sucks” into Google and you'll have ten shows worth of material before you know it. With any kind of effort on your part Jay shoud be running for cover well before 2009. Conan's been waiting long enough. For starters here is your


-10- Johnny Carson can't rest until Conan is in

-9- Jay needs more time for onerous duties as President of Gray Panthers Motorcycle Gang

-8- Jay's jaw reduction surgery dangerously overdue

-7- Stuttering John running out of clueless saps to interview

-6- Eubank's family reunion bars Kevin, claiming forced cackles are damaging family rep

-5- Conan is already too old to stay up until 2AM

-4- Secret to Leno ratings success revealed as hordes of aging Johnny Carson fans admit they haven't understood how to switch channels since they got cable boxes

-3- Good Times the Movie, starring JJ Walker has a writer's slot with Jay's name on it

-2- Tonight Show guests on strike because Jay hasn't listened to an answer in the last 15 years

-1- Sad when Jay confused Paul Rodriguez with George Lopez, unforgivable when he thought J Lo was Penelope Cruz----- until she turned to leave

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