Sunday, June 24, 2007

Top Ten Reasons to See Iran Now

Today's post deals with a page one NY Times story on Iran's crack down on human rights, including a remarkable photo. Ski mask clad Irani policeman humiliates Irani teen with toilet implement as pre-arrest punishment for wearing T shirt too tight. Kudos on the report and the photo, NY Times, but you should have put this where it belonged - remember Sunday has its very own Travel section.

Top ten reasons to visit Iran now-

10. Shaking hands with airport greeter is only a misdemeanor.

9. Quality accommodations -top local prisons always willing to find a room for Americans, even on short notice, even if you so much as mention that you have a second cousin who once visited America.

8. Helpful local police always easy to locate thanks to fashionable ski masks.

7. Routine pre-arrest oral humiliation (torture?, very very very bad sanitary practices?) with bathroom cleaning implement shows Abu Ghraib how the experts do it, and the real fun begins when the cameras are off.

6. Tehran a must shop destination - prices high but every outfit you packed is grounds for life imprisonment - see previous item on local torture expertise.

5. Perfect for the whole family, Dads, if your wife or daughter isn't showing you the proper respect a vacation in Iran will give them a whole new perspective.

4. Better than Rome - more infallible leaders. Rome has only one Pope, Tehran has both Supreme Leader Khamenei and President Ahmadinejad and we know they are infallible because every single person we were able to interview told us so....repeatedly...while begging to be shown on tape affirming infallibility.

3. See Iran now before exciting crackdown on human rights ends - extinction of last human right imminent - the elephants will still be in Kenya next year.

2. Summer bargains right now (summer would be off-season due to desert heat except Iran has no on-season) or wait for fall specials on sand wear, January Ski Iran package to Shemshak and Dizin resorts - skiers - remember you are from Switzerland, you are from Switzerland, you are from Switzerland.

1. Be there for massive, country-wide gala celebration when Iran beats out North Korea and becomes first Axis of Evil member to go nuclear.

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